A believer is pure of heart, pure in behavior, greatly jealous, and rejects everything vile. Dayatha (Cuckolding) is a moral degradation not even accepted by some animals for their herd, even if dayatha was not explicitly forbidden and its crime was not significant in Islam. Yet, sound souls reject, despise, and are repelled by it. Its status among sins is indeed great.

The term “dayouth” (cuckold) refers to a man who has no jealousy over his family. It is the doer derived from “dayatha.” ⁽¹⁾

Allah the Almighty says, “The fornicator does not marry except a [female] fornicator or polytheist, and none marries her except a fornicator or a polytheist. And that has been made unlawful to the believers.” (An-Nur: 3) Al-Qasimi said: Allah the Almighty has created love and mercy between spouses; each loves for themselves what they love for the other. If a woman consents to marry a fornicator, she has accepted his act, and similarly for the man. Whoever accepts fornication is akin to a fornicator. The greatest companionship is between spouses, and Allah has instilled known jealousy in human nature. A man is more mortified about another man with his wife than himself committing adultery. If he doesn't mind his wife being a prostitute for, he himself is a cuckold, how would he care if he himself is a fornicator?!

Thus, no man who is cuckold or a pimp refrains from fornication; fornication has its own lust, and the cuckold has lust for others' fornication. If he has no faith to despise this for his wife, how can he have faith to abstain from fornication?

Whoever permits his wife to fornicate permits the gravest fornication, and whoever aids in it is like a fornicator. Whoever acknowledges it when they can change it has accepted it, and whoever marries an unrepentant woman has accepted her fornication since he cannot prevent her; their deceit is great. ⁽²⁾

Allah says, “And [also prohibited to you are all] married women except those your right hands possess. [This is] the decree of Allah upon you. And lawful to you are [all others] beyond these, [provided] that you seek them [in marriage] with [gifts from] your property, desiring chastity, not unlawful sexual intercourse. So for whatever you enjoy [of marriage] from them, give them their due compensation as an obligation. And there is no blame upon you for what you mutually agree to beyond the obligation. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Wise. And whoever among you cannot [find] the means to marry free, believing women, then [he may marry] from those whom your right hands possess of believing slave girls. And Allah is most knowing about your faith. You [believers] are of one another. So marry them with the permission of their people and give them their due compensation according to what is acceptable. [They should be] chaste, neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse randomly nor those who take [secret] lovers. But once they are sheltered in marriage, if they should commit adultery, then for them is half the punishment for free [unmarried] women. This [allowance] is for him among you who fears sin, but to be patient is better for you. And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful.” (An-Nisa: 24-25)

So “Chaste” means to marry them while they are chaste from fornication; this is a condition for marrying them, “Neither [of] those who commit unlawful intercourse” means not openly fornicating, allowing anyone who desires them for immorality, nor taking secret lovers, which means not marrying those secret fornicators who have secret partners for committing fornication with them secretly. Allah has forbidden His servant from being a cuckold married to a prostitute, as Allah has instilled in people’s nature to find this abhorrent and ugly. Therefore, when they excessively insult someone, they say: “husband of a prostitute,” and Allah has forbidden a Muslim from being such. ⁽³⁾

AI-Mughira (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Sa'd ibn 'Ubada (Allah be pleased with him) said: If I were to see a man with my wife, I would have struck him with the sword, and not with the flat part (side) of it. When Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) heard of that, he said: Are you surprised at Sa'd's jealousy of his honour? By Allah, I am more jealous of my honour than he, and Allah is more jealous than I. Because of His jealousy Allah has prohibited abomination, both open and secret. (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) also said: “Allah is self-respecting and a believer is also self-respecting and the respect of Allah is injured if a believer does what He has forbidden him to do.” (Narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

Causes

There are some causes leading a man to become a dayouth (cuckold), including:

1. Lack of faith: Although jealousy is natural for a sound soul, faith plays a significant role in instilling values of jealousy, chivalry, and dignity in a person. The stronger the faith, the more present the jealousy.
2. External cultural globalization infiltrating Muslim homes through satellite channels first, then social media, which transferred the culture of mixing and the civilization of nudity. Some Muslims have responded to these calls falsely associating them with civilization, progress, and enlightenment, transferring Western lifestyles to a large segment of Muslim lands, causing its corruption.
3. The man's character and guardianship play a significant role in the spread of dayatha. The weaker his character, chivalry, religion, and containment of his family, the more corrupt mixing becomes, turning him into a distorted soul without jealousy or feeling.
4. Corrupt mixing in schools and universities, then mixing at work between men and women, removing barriers, making conversations normal, and even sharing meals together under the pretense of innocent fellowship. The father, brother, and husband know but their nature has been corrupted by globalization, making them submit and accept the status quo.

Forms

Forms of dayatha in the Muslim society are varied, with many falling into them thinking they are doing good, including:

1. Shameless mixing in homes between brothers and their wives under the pretext of kinship and brotherhood.
2. Mixing in schools under the pretext of lack of separate girls' schools or vice versa.
3. Mixing in weddings, involving shameful acts unfit for a Muslim man or woman.
4. Being lenient with girls and their guardian's leniency in clothing under the pretext of youth, although whoever grows up with something, grows old with it. When a girl grows up, it becomes hard to force her to wear the hijab she wasn't used to.

Means to Avoid It

1. Knowing that dayatha is a major sin.
2. Supplication and seeking Allah's help to purify the heart and behavior, and instill chivalry and dignity in the Muslim heart.
3. Understanding the importance of jealousy in Islam and the virtue of a jealous man.
4. Befriending righteous and virtuous people with good manners and modesty.
5. Knowing the lives of the righteous and studying their morals and behaviors, as Ibn Hazm said: virtues and vices should be chronicled to deter listeners from the ugly deeds attributed to others and encourage them to adopt the good reported from the righteous Salaf. ⁽⁴⁾
6. Preventing mixing within the family immediately and without turning back, stopping mixed visits and parties, enforcing modest clothing on girls, and teaching them their religion, which is of utmost importance.

There are specific rulings and etiquettes for women legislated to block the means of corruption, preserving their honor and dignity from the transgressions of foolish men attempting to corrupt them. Rarely is there a corrupt woman in the world who was not corrupted by a corrupt man or a woman previously corrupted by men. Unless it is the major corruption adopted as a profession and trade shared by corrupt men and women for monetary gain, not for the corruption itself. ⁽⁵⁾

7. Men should fulfill their duties towards their families and feel responsible for them, as Allah says, “O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire.” (At-Tahrim: 6)

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(1) Tahdhib al-Asma wal-Lughat by al-Nawawi (3/107).

(2) Mahasin al-Ta’wil (7/324).

(3) Ibid.

(4) Rasail by Ibn Hazm (1/384).

(5) Rights of People in Islam by Muhammad Rashid Rida.

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