Allah the Almighty says, “And make your houses [facing] the qiblah.” (Yunus: 87) One of the clear indications in this ayah is that houses, in their concept and role, are responsible for religion, worldly matters, values, and life, because their status is derived from the status of the mosque. They hold respect and reverence same as that of the mosque, as they serve as a qiblah in their centrality to the soul, thought, upbringing, and life.

Additionally, one of the educational implications of the term “house” is that its meaning has transitioned from a material structure to a moral and symbolic one. For example, people say, “So-and-so comes from a house of honor,” “a house of truth,” or “a house of generosity,” clearly pointing to the ethics and virtues of their family. This is because the house is the first incubator for building values, enhancing positive behavior, and shaping human conscience.

Allah the Almighty also says, “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Ar-Rum: 21) Al-Alusi comments on this ayah, saying: “The phrase ‘from yourselves’ signifies that the creation of your spouses originating from Hawwa, from Adam's rib, embedded in their creation from yourselves.” ⁽¹⁾

Here, there is a subtle indication of the location, rank, and empowerment of the wife in her husband's heart. The origin of her creation is from a rib on the left side—near the heart. Ibn Hajar said, “It is as if this points to what Ibn Ishaq narrated in the al-Mubtada' on the authority of Ibn Abbas, that Hawwa was created from Adam's shortest left rib.” ⁽²⁾

This raises the question: Why was Hawwa created from Adam’s rib (according to the opinion of most scholars)? Why wasn’t she created from his head, or from one of his muscles, or from his hand or foot?

For instance, if we imagine that Hawwa was created from Adam’s head, she would have become more intelligent than him, possessing superior intellect and cleverness. She would have been the mastermind in everything by virtue of her creation.

If she had been created from his muscles, she would have been stronger than him, which would not suit the nature for which Allah created her. Imagine how the world would be if women were physically stronger than men!

And if she had been created from his foot, she might have been treated with contempt, and men would have belittled her. But Allah honored her by creating her from a rib on the left side (near the heart) to signify her true position, honoring and elevating her. From her position, she provides tranquility, affection, and mercy.

We also read in the Book of Allah the Almighty an ayah that describes the marital relationship in the most concise yet profound terms, combining meanings that no human, regardless of their intellect, could ever articulate in such a manner. Allah the Almighty says, “They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them.” (Al-Baqarah: 187)

The term “clothing” carries multiple meanings, such as:

• Covering: Clothing covers a person, just as a husband covers and protects his wife and vice versa. If either reveals the other’s secrets, it is as if they are wearing torn garments.
• Protection: Clothing shields a person from harm, just as a husband protects and preserves his wife, and the wife does the same for her husband.
• Comfort: As Qatadah explained, “They are clothing for you” means they are a source of comfort and tranquility.
• Adornment: Clothing beautifies a person, just as spouses beautify one another.
• Closeness: Clothing is the closest thing to a person’s body, just as a husband and wife are intimately close to one another, akin to a garment to the body (she is his inner garment, and he is her outer garment).

All these meanings and more are embedded in Allah's words: “They are clothing for you, and you are clothing for them.” Therefore, understanding these meanings of the marital relationship is crucial. It elevates the level of understanding and communication between spouses. As communication improves, feelings of love, respect, security, and stability grow, ultimately benefiting their children.

It is important to note that no household is free from situations that may lead to disagreements between spouses. However, what sets households apart is the degree of understanding among family members. Even in the Prophet’s household, there were moments of discord. For example, it was narrated from Umm Salamah that she brought some food in a dish of hers to the Messenger of Allah and his Companions, then 'Aishah came, wrapped up in a garment, with a stone pestle and broke the dish. The Prophet gathered the broken pieces of the dish and said: “Eat; your mother got jealous,” twice. Then the Messenger of Allah took the dish of 'Aishah and sent it to Umm Salamah and he gave the dish of Umm Salamah to 'Aishah.

Now, if you were to ask anyone how they would react if their wife spilled food in front of their guests, their response might shock you!

Thus, we must recognize the educational responsibility inherent in marital situations, as they directly impact the upbringing, ethics, and social behavior of children. In fact, I dare say that the moral decline of some individuals is due to family disintegration, poor relationships between spouses, or the parents’ neglect of their children, allowing media to take over the roles of education and upbringing, only worsening the matter. Gone are the days of daily family gatherings, shared laughter, candid conversations, mutual visits, and playing with neighbors, classmates, or relatives. Family gatherings have become nearly impossible, as each member of the household is preoccupied with social media—even the parents. Sometimes, during family gatherings, one may be physically present but mentally absent, lost in the depths of social media.

Only those who have lost the blessing of a home truly understand its value. Ask a homeless person or a refugee about the blessing of a home, and you will hear words filled with sorrow and longing. Their greatest wish is for a small house, even a single room, to provide them with shelter, comfort, and safety among loved ones.

Their memories of their first home remain deeply etched in the depths of their minds. Nostalgic thoughts bring back laughter echoing between the walls of that home, childhood moments of joy and sadness, and unforgettable scenes. These memories create a sense of belonging to the home where they spent their formative years. They remind individuals of the morals, traditions, and values they grew up with, engraved in their minds and hearts.

Thus, every educator must fill their home with love, kindness, and the nurturing of sound values and principles.

From what has been mentioned, we derive three fundamental elements for the stability of human homes:

1. Building a strong relationship between a person and their spouse.
2. Building a strong relationship between the head of the household and their family.
3. Adopting a value-based framework derived from the Qur’an and Sunnah.

These elements are the pillars of stable homes and the secret to their stability. Without these essential foundations, one will face great challenges in upbringing. How can one clothe others when their own garments are torn? How can one build values and bridges with their children when the foundation is crumbling? Can anyone construct a house without a blueprint or clear plan for suitable materials? Establishing this triad is indispensable for successful upbringing and the stability of human homes.

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(1) Tafsir Al-Alusi (11/31).

(2) Fath al-Bari, Ibn Hajar Al-Asqalani, Dar Al-Ma’rifah, Beirut, 1379 AH, (9/253).

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